World Mental Health Day: My Story

1 out of 4 people who seek healthcare in Kenya have a mental health condition. 5 in 6 Kenyans with mental illnesses do not receive treatment. And with a total population of 54 million people, Kenya only has 120 registered psychiatrists. (WHO, 2014)

Afya ya akili, the Swahili word for mental health, is a state of mental wellbeing that enables people to cope with stress.

But how do you explain that to a Kenyan that has never been taught that mental health matters?

I first heard the words “I love you” from my mother when I was 25 years old. It was back in 2020 during COVID, and I, like most young people at the time, was going through something. Being in the pits resulted in doing the 30 day self-care challenge which really helped me out a lot. On the 23rd day, I was required to say the words “I love you” to my loved ones. I had not realized until this day that I had only told silly boyfriends these words but nobody from my family. With my sister it was really easy. She replied instantly, like she had been waiting for me to say those words. With my mom, however, it took three attempts. The very first time, we were in the kitchen preparing dinner and I said, “mam I love you”, making her immediately uncomfortable, she looked at me and asked what I had to drink.

I am resilient so I told her the very next day and she responded with a weird laugh which made me laugh so hard because of how uncomfortable it was making her yet again. The third time, however, she said it back. And from that day, ”i love you” became words we shared after every phone call, visit, you name it. I came to realize later that it’s not that she did not love me, but those words were foreign to her because she was simply not used to it and rarely heard it from her own parents.

My parents’ generation focused more on actions over words, so when they paid my fees and provided me with food and clothing, that was their show of love. They focused only on the first level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, physiological needs like food, water, and shelter. It’s a sad reality that very little people around me have yet to hear their parents say those three words to them or said those words to their parents, but when clean water is a necessity for growing a family, it unfortunately makes sense as to why people in the region of Kenya are forced to focus on the basic level of needs first. As the country becomes more developed, the number of health professionals are slowly increasing and amazing organizations like the Leo Project are determined to change the stigma around mental health in Kenya.

By no means am I a mental health expert, but I know what I’ve experienced and what my peers have experienced. The words “I love you” might seem insignificant, until those words are said to you.

Sadly, I lost my mom in 2021 but to this day, the one thing I know for sure is that she really loved me through her actions and words, and more than that, I got to tell her many times how much I loved her. I’ve now expanded; I tell all my family and friends I love them every chance I get and I think you should too.

Depression is the most common illness worldwide. Kenya was ranked at #4 in Africa with 1.9 million people who have the condition (WHO, 2014). With the numbers being this alarming, I can’t help but wonder, how many of those people need to hear “I love you” or “ You are enough”?

I always echo these words I heard somewhere because they really challenge me. When we get a headache or tummy ache, we usually sprint to find medication, but we don’t go with the same haste when we find ourselves overwhelmed with anxiety or depression. The statement was a broad question on ‘why don’t we give mental health priority like we do physical health?’ But l take it one step further and ask, Why normalize good emotions and not bad ones?

Let’s normalize speaking out, asking for help, and saying I LOVE YOU. Tell someone you’re thankful for them today. In fact, spread it to everyone you know. The world so desperately needs to heal. Easier said than done though right? Out of all the people in your life, at least one will be in need of that love, that reassurance. Focusing on mental health needs emotional support, needs community, needs understanding. Take the first step.

Dr Rashid Aman, Kenya’s Health Chief Administrative Secretary summed this up perfectly:

“Health is wealth and there is no health without mental health.”

Nawapenda- I Love you.

Give Health